S | No 2 propeller seepage normal - No 1, No 3, and No 4 propellers lack normal seepage. In this great little clip, an SR-71 pilot tells a story about flying around the Western United States to build up crew hours when small plane pilots started calling into air traffic control to ask . When the the Marine came back the Soldier nodded and thanked him for the drink, very pleased he pulled one over on the Marine. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock all the doors. You have plenty of time. Jack Girard. An Airman, Soldier, and Marine are sitting around talking about hardships they faced on their last deployment. He says, Anyway, enough about me. While on maneuvers in the Mojave Desert, our convoy got lost, forcing our lieutenant to radio for help. They want their patients to see 20:20! But I had the last laugh. 44. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one.". Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we landit's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern". Sure!With that, he revved up the razor, clipped off my sideburns, and gave them to me. It does look like its been fished out from the bottom of the sea.. If a baby joined the Army, where would they belong? During basic training at Fort Leavenworth, our sergeant asked if anyone had artistic abilities. !An angry voice finally replied, My name aint George!. Reluctantly, he showed it to me. P | Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. And )second As soon as we have sorted out Kosovo, Bosnia, Macedonia, Serbia, Iraq, Northern Ireland, Sierra Leone, The Congo, marching up and down bits of tarmac in London and compulsory health and safety at work training, we will return your call. An Army ranger, Air Force P.J., Navy seal, and a Recon Marine. Airspeed, altitude, and brains: Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.. As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and eventually one of them will. Ramrod straight, each would respond, Marine Air Group 36, sir or Second Marine Division, General. Then there was one young private. Me: Sorry, you have the wrong number. I'm impressed! I've told you that I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Perplexed, the fighter pilot asked, "So? They throw out a pistol. I served in Japan, said Uncle Sid. You should always use any of that variety of jokes sparingly. Here soldiers share what theyve gleaned from past gaffes: I was cold Im convinced my cockroaches have military training. Do you want to hear about my plane?. The Best Short Military Jokes 1. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!, 21. Theyre U.S. AF! During basic training at Fort Leavenworth, our sergeant asked if anyone had artistic abilities. Unfortunately, the sun was shining Students are great about sending our troops letters, and the troops love em. You will not live long enough to make all of them yourself. Soldier: Sure, buddy. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. S | Engine found on right wing after brief search. Then one day I couldnt find it. She's been working as a writer, editor, QA specialist, and SEO professional for more than four years. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. The ships operations officer entered the messdeck, his eyes bleary and at half-mast. . My 90-year-old dad was giving a talk at our local library about his World War II experiences. Theres a post recall and he has to go to work. A lieutenant stood up and asked, Is that 24 hours our time or 24 hours their time?. He had noticed that, for the umpteenth time, a recruit kept going to his right on a left command. After a very heavy landing in Halifax, the Flight Attendant announced; Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. When they come home, they get to leave their inlaws thousands of miles away. Thanks.. Comedian Martha Raye was a great supporter of the military and made many trips to Vietnam to entertain the troops. But yours is.. Unless you pull the stick too far back, then they get bigger again very quickly". Me: Still the wrong number. When the sailor finishes up, he heads to the sink to wash his hands. 'There are bold pilots, and old pilots, but very few old bold pilots.' - 1930s Army Air Corps Sign. 4) At the real-life Topgun programthe one the film was based onthere is a $5 fine for any staffer who references or quotes the movie. They came up with that name using Operation Random Thesaurus. When I spotted a Navy captain on the street, I saluted and bellowed, LST 395, which was the designation and number of the ship I served on during World War II. 55+ Best Pilot Jokes That Fly | Kidadl Sometime later, when the examination was Coffee tastes better if the latrines are dug downstream from an encampment. A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. Six Triple Eight Film by Tyler Perry Is Coming to Netflix, Havana Syndrome Still a Mystery, but Foreign Involvement Unlikely, After a Storied Career, Paris Davis Is Finally Receiving His Medal of Honor, Here are 200 Remote Jobs for Veterans in 2023. 16. Do not attempt to shave with fire. Economy Class Conditions under which transportation of animals would constitute a criminal offence, 57. Aeronautical Humor. A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two Kernals, As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, All right! I say again, stand down and divert your course. Basically, if you click on a product link on this site and buy that product we get a small commission at no extra cost to you. Heres what they came up with: Ive been sandblasted.. I was working in Army security when a VIP from another base called to ask to whom he should address an important letter. Rather than fire a shot, I shouted out the first half My father was serving in a port city in postWorld War II Germany when a ship laden with GIs docked. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. At least SEVEN Cs! I felt confident as I aimed and squeezed the trigger of my carbine for my first shot. Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board. P | Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. The program was halted when, after years of research and millions of dollars spent, the spy cat was run over by a cab. Anyone wanting to take pictures on our bases airfield needs a letter from public affairs, which happens to be me. I dont see it.. Why arent there any insects in an Army base? Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. Rodrigues there? It is always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. But before I could get out, he pointed to the other end of the building and said, The band entrance is that way. Gordon Van Otteren. But my fears were put to rest one day while getting into formation, which was determined by height. 4th of July 2022: Celebrating the Birth of Our Nation & Its Heroes, Military Appreciation Month 2022: Saluting Those Who Serve, Veterans Day 2022: Celebrating Those Whove Served. Aviation Humor. My granddaughters husband was complaining about how spellcheck changes the meaning of e-mails when an Air Force officer told him this story: Hed sent a message to 300 of his My dad and uncles were all in the Army during wartime, but only two of the three served overseas. 3. Multi Engine Training Manual When one engine fails on a twin-engine aircraft, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash, 48. Even those who work in relation to the military, such as the Department of Defense, or know someone that has served, are bound to find a few of these hilarious. Want more amazing military jokes? 14 Funniest Military Jokes Ever (2023 Edition) - Marine Approved DeFrigNo! 64. But I am public affairs, I said. He looked over at the Soldier and said when are we going to stop playing these games, spitting in each others boots and pissing in each others drinks, its so juvenile!. Now, they are wanted for dessertion. Sergeant, he said, what if we dont have any initials? Matthew Nazarian. 49. Some of the jokes on this list you may not fully understand or appreciate unless you were actually in the military, but most of them I think anyone can appreciate. Ordered a private to bring back a five-gallon can of dehydrated water (in fact, the sergeant just wanted an empty water can). Large mahogany desk.. While waiting every one will come by multiple times except yours, 62. The controller while working a busy shift told a 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft). For more information about us or joining the team, check out the About Us tab. Students are great about sending our troops letters, and the troops love em. What do you use on your face to keep it so smooth? I asked. Why does the military only allow dress shirts during ceremonies and events? However, the mood was brightened when he received a birthday cake from his sister. On-time Departure Cabin doors closed 15 minutes before scheduled departure time Subsequent delays are irrelevant. The steaming jungles of Vietnam were not my husbands first choice of places to spend his 21st birthday. Filed Under: Lifestyle, Veteran Life Tagged With: funny, humor, jokes, military jokes. I wanted to join the Marines but I fell just short of their requirements. What do you call a Marine that has an IQ of 160? Top Flight Deck / Cockpit Jokes and Memes Collection. Even if you arent in the military yourself, try reading some of these out loud to someone you know in a particular branch and watch as their face lights up. During KP duty, my sergeant ordered me to prepare 100 gallons of soup for that nights dinner. Where is your foxhole, Lieutenant? I asked. 54. Cabin Attendant Two-legged mobile device for extracting cash from a captive audience, 56. Types of Rifles Every Shooter Should Know About, Rifle Vs. If you want it any closer than that, youll have to bite em off from the inside.. My father was serving in a port city in postWorld War II Germany when a ship laden with GIs docked. Read more. Keep up with Katee on Instagram and linkedin.com. If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 and make a right at the lights to return to the airport, 52. Adding one, came from my saw carrying ARMY soldier: How many Marines does it take to fire a machine gun? Why did the Soldier bring a blanket to an active battle zone? But if you say one word, it's fifty quid". aviation JOKES (random) Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. What is a Soldiers least favorite month? The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Aboard a troop carrier crossing the Atlantic, I noticed a seasick pal of mine losing it over the railing alongside several other soldiers. Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. A cookie and a piece of cake joined the army, but eventually, they abandoned their fellow soldiers. My husbands cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. 10. You can see why: 17. You seem in a good mood., He replied, Im paying a private to do all my worrying for me.. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. It was PRIVATE. If you have a military joke you think our readers would like then send it to military_jokes@strategyworld.com. What do Marines have in common with other members of the Armed Forces? A military base commander called to complain that the weather-forecasting software our company created for them kept reporting unexplainable wind shifts. "It took us a while to find a new pilot." Why did the airplane get sent to his room? Altitude is life insurance. The danger of incident is no jokein 1985, a Japanese 747 airliner lost its tail midflight and plummeted into a mountain, killing 520 in the deadliest aircraft accident involving just one plane . I heard this one from my basic training company commander. You know you cant outrun a bear, right?, The soldier said, The way I see it, I just have to outrun you.. Did You Hear About The Accident at the Army Base? A drill serGENTLEMEN! Discover the best military jokes with this expansive list that covers some old ones and some new ones to brighten your smile. During that first roll call in the Army, I waited in dread as the sergeant got to my name: DiFeliciantonio. Related read: When Is Military Appreciation Month? Airman: The worst was when the air conditioner in our tent broke and it was 110 outside! Navy and CG Say HOOOOOYAH! Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. He nodded. Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you? the base operator asked him. The MPs read the letter, saluted, and left. A young pilot in a Fighter Jet was flying escort for a B-52 Bomber and generally being a nuisance, acting like a big hotshot, flying loops around the lumbering old bomber. Once during target practice, an unmanned drone flew past an antiaircraft cruiser. Then one day I couldnt find it. When Is Military Appreciation Month? You had tents?, A drill sergeant yells at his young trainee, I didnt see you at camouflage training this morning, private!, The private replies, Well, thank you very much, sir., A general gets stuck in his Jeep on the side of the road. "He who is first will soon be last, and now I know what he means," King said, referencing a lyric from Bob Dylan as he reflected on what the race . 43. How can you tell if theres an Air Force pilot at the bar? What has a nose and flies, but can't smell? 10. 'Never fly in the same cockpit. The Best Military Jokes: Jokes for Every Branch - Reader's Digest Its a NO FLY zone! Eat up! A drill serGENTLEMEN! Military Aviation Humor | Civil Aviation Humor | Life in the Military | Submit a Joke Aunt Mary is an F-16 pilot A fifth-grade teacher told her students "I'd like for one of you to tell the class a story with a moral", so little Suzy raised her hand. (Hang up. It was basic training, and I was seated in the barber chair bemoaning the impending loss of my hair when the barber asked, Where are you from? St. As A.J. S | Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words. We recommend our users to update the browser. Anytime someone asked what his father did, hed say, Hes in the Army. I told him umpteen times, Stop telling people Im in the Army! It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form for kindergarten, under fathers profession, the teacher wrote, He doesnt know what his father does, but hes not in the Army.. The cruiser opened up, shells furiously flying all around During World War II, my father often found himself stuck with KP duty. I served in Korea, said Uncle Jerry. When our drill instructor demanded an explanation, the man bellowed, This recruit has proved himself worthless and weak and is being mailed home to his mother!. U.S. Navy Warship: This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. ", "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?". What do you call a training sergeant who's very kind and respectful? What did one panicking sailor say to the other? Awesome page, I came out of the US Army in 92. Halt! shouted our drill instructor. How did I know my new coworker was a veteran? Whats the difference between a fighter pilot and a fighter jet? How tough? Later, I spoke with Mom. The steaming jungles of Vietnam were not my husbands first choice of places to spend his 21st birthday. Why doesnt the Army football team have a website? Everyone seemed OK with this order except for one confused recruit. Air Traffic Control 6. In an attempt to keep, the passengers from standing or moving around before taxiing was completed the Flight Attendant of an internal flight said over the PA, "Ladies and Gentlemen. You had tents?, USAF: Birds Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? 14. The Pentagon announced that its fight against ISIS will be called Operation Inherent Resolve. Pizza de Resistance Soldier: No, SIR!. Jokes about crayon eaters and narcissistic Air Force personnel will never get old, though. USN: Helos Death is just natures way of telling you to watch your airspeed. My friend stopped, turned around, and glared at the airman. Once during target practice, an unmanned drone flew past an antiaircraft cruiser. Anecdotes 2.