The Motion Picture Association rating is R -- restricted. "She needs antipsychotics.". endobj ( ( "And for your girls," he said. After two years of horror, the girls and I felt like we had escaped something. Inside, I would wrap a blanket around my head, stuff it into my mouth, lie down and bury my head in a pile of dirty clothes, and scream. "Before this is over," she said, "you will long for it to end.". That meant leaving his job, his city, his friends, his apartment, his life. Those sentiments were trueshe carried herself with courage, and love, and poisebut when we were alone, she cut me without mercy. He burned through his weeks of vacation time, visiting the hospital during the day and sleeping at our house each night. The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word Our Friend tells the story of the journalist Matthew Teague, who once traveled the world as a foreign correspondent, reporting from countries such. ( ( ( "You and me.". ( ( @]L69kc3jXZI)7J_0~8:,mcdXbOSg>iw7v3@Ze\XQI}Aajet[r%r\F *jf_W7, hyDbC{`O p=:@5R 32 h!U,Y[f $A + VKmu4.f\p ###-k_g-$lN9;Eak>"m%%tX9x ;`zwv@FA MEsjZ.,?B0W%1 x#"TpWb'[y 3: Yc1Q Y{kl1;}w << He pulled out of the driveway, and I just stood there in the yard for a long time, wondering what to do, my eyes all wet. To this day, he receives impassioned, heartbreaking letters. She was Creek Indian, and I had never seen her cheekbones so proud, her eyes so defiant. Q1@ ( Her voice was diaphanous, like she was calling through silk. /DecodeParms << /Quality 65 >> I remember white tile and a hope: Maybe I will never have to get up. ( ( ( Afterward, we would sit in the dark for hours, sometimes in silence, but usually discussing the day's interactions with Nicole. I took over the rest. Seated inside the Princess of Wales Theater, Teague was a flurry of nerves, held together only by sheer will and the help of a friend and fellow journalist, Tom Junod, who was also the subject of a Hollywood movie, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, about his unlikely relationship with Fred Rogers. What he didnt account for was just how cruel Hollywood can be when a movie does come together, an experience he is still coming to terms with. ( Later, when we had to take away Nicole's phoneprobably the most difficult decision of the entire ordealshe started leaving us venomous, drug-addled handwritten notes. There was no stopping it. I found myself locked in a battle against a swelling horde of electronic opponents. Dane said. ( the friend article by matthew teague pdfhorseback riding on the beach naples, fl. Nicole rallied. "No," she said again, disgusted. Lied. In our heartache and exhaustion, we both started to giggle. MWbREy-8Qp=bqNWRp=RPhEyo.Q^[Jh-fTf {T&q\ 9+ 6s>6'yUp3Qf{uY"Q*:e4]P_0kH$4\,};E|g}z gPIV`*^$#VyHG}Wxx O~n/[=z\cF:f&e!9g|,Y\F We spent that Christmas season in the hospital. Nicole laughed. She shed weight, but we expected that. Months to live. She dragged a chair into the middle of the room and pulled her hairlong and dark and cascadinginto a ponytail. ( And he was making some sort of secretive arrangements with my other friends. Nothing tasted right. ( ( As he walked out the door, he stopped to complete his argument. It also came with a hidden price. ( endobj When the author's wife was dying, his best friend moved in. ( When it happened to my beloved, I lost my footing in more than one way." Teague's beloved is Nicole, his 34-year-old wife and mother of their two daughters who is dying of cancer. He couldn't explain it, but he knew that if he held a small animal he would burst into tears. In the early months of 2014, Dane and I cleaned ceaselesslythe house, the children, me, the medical equipment, Nicole herself. In a most unexpected way, Dane's leaving hit me harder than Nicole's because I wasn't prepared for it. She requested tape and gauze. 0000000792 00000 n We told stories about how we would both be old men, drooling and incontinent, and Nicole would shuffle in to demand a mayonnaise sandwich. /Filter /FlateDecode Daddy needs to fix the stove. ( In the epilogue, it is revealed that Matt's article won an award in Esquire magazine and that he and his daughters remain in Fairhope. ( ")$+*($''-2@7-0=0''8L9=CEHIH+6OUNFT@GHE C !!E. And what's really weird? Now, with the release of the new film Our Friend, Teague has the opportunity to share his story onscreen.Directed by Gabriela Cowperthwaite, Our Friend recounts Teague's real-life journey during the death of his wife.After his wife, Nicole (Dakota Johnson) has been diagnosed with cancer, Matthew (played by Casey Affleck) struggles to balance meeting her needs and raising their daughters. "Just make sure to pick it up before noon," my friend said. When there's an infection or some other foreign thing in the body, the flesh works to eject it, forming tunnels to the surface. Only now can I look back on the fullness of our affection; at the time I could see nothing but one wound at a time, a hole the size of a dime, into which I needed to pack a fistful of material. Here's the official synopsis: Our Friend tells the inspiring and extraordinary true story of the Teague familyjournalist Matt (Casey Affleck), his vibrant wife Nicole (Dakota Johnson) and their . The machine that pumped the fluid into her veins would shriek any time it needed attentionif a tube kinked, or she rolled over on it, or it ran out of fluid, or any number of other possibilities occurredwhich happened every few minutes. "Well, we came by to pray for them," one of the ladies said. They seemed impossibly joyful and healthy, and we could hear them laughing above the sound of the water. One night, Faith alerts them of Nicole's slowing heart rate, and they take her to the beach to watch one final sunrise. She took one bite and handed it back. She started eating again. "It'll be weird, though, because you'll be married by then.". And Teague, now 44, knew the drill. I woke and dressed and fed the girls, Molly and Evangeline, who were ten and seven. "I see it now," she said. They had two little girls. ( ( ( Then, after a while, I turned and went back inside my empty house. ( ( xc```f``je```A`l9Gb33022(30Xh` y ( Dane returns home where he works as a manager at a sporting goods store and begins dating a woman named Kat. He moved to the edge of the rocks to jump, and I found myself on my feet, clapping and cheering and wishing the sun would stop setting, and these young women would never age or fall ill or die, and Dane could hang there in space for the rest of time, a portrait of readiness and compassion. ( The glare of public criticism has helped me be more aware of how frightening and helpless a story subject can feel, he said in a follow-up email. ( Later, Nicole's lead nurse, Faith, sat down with me. "Don't you want to hold one?" << "Go ahead," she said. ( << (The family still lives in the same house. They had two little girls. ( People hold hands and exchange glances to acknowledge how profound the moment is just before a doctor checks for a pulse and announces, "It's done. ( I think I've hung on to the sensation of the hospital floor and being lifted away from it because it captures everything that followed in the next two years. I would call for Dane, waking him, and he would hold the back door open for me while I carried Nicole to the car. Registered nurses could, but they could come by only once a day. ( ( ( << Nicole Teague was diagnosed with Stage IIIc Ovarian Cancer in 2012. Nx4Au& ,USh^e1#miUO9>V_fKyBK.=89TUho.$ ' ~4QY&)m3*TUI++c(#IUvvV>{od*]/ul(;bv0^h&HT(kZi%7qprs@ 7:IccIP IcpA pkr=BW#%"R2 Gz EVus 2\c: oA!.d9v2[EuGj QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE ~( ( ( He had carved a Mohawk of his own to match hers. ( ( Sometimes even a brief story or a hastily written review can break someones heart for a long, long time.. He had driven from New Orleanswe were living in a small town called Fairhope, Alabamato stand guard for hours in the hallway outside Nicole's room so that she could sleep. Or I would retreat to one of the girls' bedrooms upstairs, where she could not follow. ( Kat struggles to understand Dane's loyalty to the Teague family after weeks turn into months, and they break up. ( << Part III will conclude by offering an . ( /Parent 10 0 R He basically packed his life up, a year and a half ago, and moved to Alabama to help his friend care for his wife who was dying (and did die) of ovarian cancer. Its easy to forget that, even for a writer who prizes empathy. ( And I have an image of the hospital floor, up close. ( . Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. The three become close over the years. In 2010, Matt discovers that Nicole had an affair. When visitors came, though, we could see it reflected in their faces, or when her shirt slipped to the side, exposing her collarbone. new york in 2015, esquire magazine published matthew teague's article "the friend: love is not a big enough word. ( ?! "b1T75G m gIA!VPVf's.14f=B8Ch zQZ#dnTi$X8$D$I5A,@%*8qfIXk- r%ZqIG,V_FV!4HArHt-Hzy a'+8L]9)$gUxIP:)#jR"L$=$L# j7!^:s^P;]g+ "ieBL$:?V2$eu*'ask|':Z?(xuBH-D)I*?cC6 Titled 'The Friend,' the article told the heartbreaking story of his beloved wife Nicole Teague's diagnosis of terminal cancer, and how their best friend, Dane, became an indispensable addition to their family. ", The way dying looks, or so I expected, was like this: A small group of friends and family gather around the patient, watching as she draws and releases her final breath. "Does that smell like poop to you? And when I would deny her yet another delirious fantasyof going someplace exotic when the bathroom would forevermore be the extent of her travelshe had a simple clarity that I assumed I had lost for good. The Catholic News Service classification is A-III -- adults. I didn't want her to see. I still have a few memories. 'The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word', an autobiographical piece by Matthew Teague published in Esquire magazine in 2015, describes the two years between his wife Nicole's cancer diagnosis and her [] saturation of bodies into darkness. operatives in Pakistan, famine in Somalia, double agents in Northern Ireland. ( ( Today Teague still bristles at this criticism. As a subscriber, you have 10 gift articles to give each month. ( /Root 13 0 R 2. ( When that didnt work (I realized Im too close to this, he said) he signed on as an executive producer and worked closely with the writer Brad Ingelsby (The Way Back) to craft a film that both depicted the realities of death and celebrated the life that came before. Teague's award-winning story, "The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word," was written for Esquire and published in that magazine in May 2015. Anyone can read what you share. It's a devastating confession of the last years of his wife . This artistic defect doesn't, however, prevent "Our Friend" from presenting the grown audience for whom it's suitable with much to admire -- and imitate.The film contains an adultery theme, mature references, including to homosexuality and cohabitation, about a half-dozen uses of profanity, twice as many milder oaths and rough terms as well as considerable crude and crass language. ( Directed by Gabriela Cowperthwaite, the film revolves around the bond between Matthew ( Casey Affleck ), Nicole ( Dakota Johnson ), and Dane (Jason Segel). ( We readied ourselves for the physical horrors of death. These physical horrors, though, were nothing compared to what would come. ( >> ( In the winter of 2013, Matt and Nicole Teague prepare to tell their daughters, Molly and Evie, that Nicole's ovarian cancer is terminal. ( It would make me a better caregiver for Nicole. ( ( She simply didn't breathe again. Each time Nicole faded, Dane took over many domestic dutieswashing clothes, cleaning, shopping, cooking. He covered C.I.A. "Just to help out for a couple of months.". Matthew Teague is a journalist whos traveled to remote corners of the world for stories. . ( She had slept through the months of IV feeding and woke up pleasantly surprised that she could now fit into smaller clothes than ever before. ( He didn't understand the question. Simpson's Social Circle, What No One Could Tell Me About Male Breast Cancer, Charleston Shooting: We Need to Talk About This. Are people going to get a chance to see it?. They had two little girls. ( >> Ju '8 I heaped the stuff on this time. Her breathing slowed, and over the next few days it grew louderloud enough to hear throughout the house. ( '.EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE t" The writer recently returned to the screenwriting game and adapted his 2003 GQ article about the over-the-top war games in North Carolina into a mini-series called Pineland that is now being shopped around. ( ( A half dozen college-aged women had climbed onto rocks jutting from the top of the falls, and while we watched they started taking off their clothes. Matthew Teague's article in the May 2015 Esquire magazine about the life stolen from his wife, 1995 Northview High graduate Nicole Rolin Teague: How My Friend Saved Me When Death Took the. One day Dane touched my arm and I cried out, unsure of who he was. I asked Dane later why he had done it. ( ( The film's celebration of love expressed in small gestures and its message that an individual's worth is not to be measured by professional success alone help to compensate for the complete, though unspoken, absence of faith in an afterlife among the characters. Two of his previous pieces were optioned by various producers, but no movies were ever made. I had no answer and every answer. ( Every timeless feature, profile, interview, novella - even the ads! w !1AQaq"2B #3Rbr He is my friend. %%EOF With Dane's help, they reconcile their relationship. I was guided towards it by a Friend who shares my concern at the partisan approach of many British Friends to the Israel-Palestine conflict. ( ( /Size 18 more info http://movieroar.net/movietrailers/2021/01/our-friend-remarkable-advice-in-an-unusual-surprise/ And clothing. ( The more visceral parts that, in part, made the essay so memorable were omitted: specifically Teagues role in the grotesque art of wound-packing and the physical horrors that accompanied it. One morning early last summer, I found her standing over the stove with the gas wide open while she tried to teach Molly how to light it. I showed him mine, a loopy screed about needing her phone. Focusing on six states - Arizona, Georgia . In this video, which she recorded as a message for her church, she opens up about her diagnosis and shares her faith through song. She would call Dane and me to her bedside, enraged, to accuse us of stealing her phone as it sat on the pillow beside her head. ( In 2008, Matt and Nicole reside in Fairhope with their daughters. ( ( ( Realizing that Matt is overwhelmed, Dane takes him hiking. ( THE CANCER was EVERYWHERE, ANDTHEPARTS OF DYING THAT NOBODY TALKS ABOUT WERE ABOUT TO START. Dane appeared there one night with a plate of food and a bottle of water. ( she asked him. Screen version of a 2015 Esquire magazine article by Matthew Teague (Casey Affleck) recounting the unwavering and selfless support the journalist and his terminally ill wife (Dakota Johnson) received from their best friend (Jason Segel) who, as her death approached, moved in with the couple and helped to care for their two daughters (Isabella Kai She is survived by her husband, Matthew Teague; daughters, Molly and Evangeline Teague, all of Fairhope; Father, Raymond Rolin of Atmore, AL; mother, Mary Smith of Pensacola, FL; sisters, Megan Gordon and Hillary Rolin, both of Bay Minette, AL. She would describe all the things she wanted to do, and peoplewonderful, kind, well-intentioned peoplewould nod and encourage her and marvel at her bravery. The shock of mortality. ( Meanwhile, Dane remains in New Orleans working dead-end jobs. One morning, she staggered into the kitchen, shocking us all, and announced that she planned to make eggs for the girls. I sat in the blinking red and green lights of our hospital room, listened to the news, and offered, "Okay.". It's written about a friend of mine. An adultery theme, mature references, including to homosexuality and cohabitation, about a half-dozen uses of profanity, twice as many milder oaths and rough terms, considerable crude and crass language. A mercy killing. Thought for the week: Michelle Dumont gets the picture. I confessed to him one night that a dark fantasy had flickered through my mind earlier involving a spoon and mayonnaise. ( ( She had called him for me. ( When I discouraged Nicole from somethingwhen I took away her car keys, or access to our accounts, or certain visiting hoursshe would go to online cancer forums and write posts about my choices. ( ( ( ( ( They're coming slow.". >> Dane opened the bathroom door and I cried out, "It's just shit everywhere, Dane." ( ( Matt embraces Dane, expressing that simply saying "Thank you" isn't enough. And then she burst into tears. ( /Type /Page /Pages 10 0 R Too cowardly to sit and bear it, I would curl in the fetal position on our porch swing, where she could not find me. By matthew teague / photographs by daymon gardner. Dane Faucheux and Nicole went to college together, and over the years Matt and Dane became as close as brothers. You are both. Almost all of that year is lost to me. But in my physical depletion, I discovered what Dane had known all along: My mind felt sharper and was more hopeful than it had been in months. ( I blinked at Dane and we both burst out laughing. I watched Dane climb up and chat with the girls on their rocks, all hugging themselves against a cool wind. Ak$+ne)Mg+"&# 4-Xb\2 g8Cwop+dX1Cpx?Z ]K@,&IRb,d, ~QhyDbC{`O p=:@5R 32 h!U,Y[f $A + VKmu4.f\p ###-k_g-$lN9;Eak>"m%%tX9x ;`zwv@FA MEsjZ.,?B0W%1 x#"TpWb'[y 3: Yc1Q Y{kl1;}w Are we sunk? ( I helped them with their homework. The film had its world premiere under its original title The Friend at the 2019 Toronto International Film Festival on . ( "Hound dog," the nurses called it. ( Matt works as a war correspondent and spends months overseas, putting a strain on the family. ( Dane and I stayed up late watching television every night. Based on a true story, screenwriter Brad Ingelsby adapted Our Friend from the article "The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word" by Matthew Teague. The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word, Six Years After the Shooting in Chardon, Ohio, Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. ( Sex symbols: Abigail Maxwell asks Friends to stand up for transgender people. ( _Politics with Charles P. Pierce An insider's look at all the politics you can stomachand some you can't. The Politics Blog with Charles P. Pierce began in 2011, and has on nearly every weekday sinceand many weekends besidesbeen home to some of the most incisive, honest, funny, perceptive, historically literate, and often-cathartic political journalism in America. Your documents are now available to view. ( The most obvious manifestation of her illness, aside from weight loss, were the wounds. We spent every nightevery night for an entire summerwatching the living dead shuffling eternally into frame just before being dispatched to the afterlife by some hero. His best friend came to help out for a couple weeks. ( ( 0000000645 00000 n ( /T 1042081 ( ( There are things that I can write about in print, and people can absorb and find to be honest, he said. She was unrecognizable with hatred. ( "[17], Sheila O'Malley, writing for Roger Ebert's film criticism website, gave it a 3 star rating. ( Teague is using the experience as a growth opportunity in his career as a journalist. We discovered that Nicole was secretly ordering things online, clinging to her role as shopper. ( ( The friend is indefinite. the friend article by matthew teague pdf