my husband is so nice to everyone but me

Even though my husband is mean and accusing should I still be nice to him, Your email address will not be published. Whatever the reason could be, try to get to the bottom of it and apologize to him accordingly. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life. We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship. If it comes from anyone else, their problems are completely valid and worth his time. Id advise that you explore why he resorts, A man, by nature, loves power and likes to be in control, this trait has led some to become, control addicts. Without much ado, lets delve into some of the reasons your husband is mean to you and nice to everyone else. The Effects Of Living With An Angry Partner. My advice is that you get acquainted with topics that interest him. I am the one who needs help, not him. So, read on to find out other common reasons he might be mean to you and nice with everyone else. His friends and family take advantage of that. They insist on things being done in their own way and make all of the, most important decisions. From experience, when a man picks fights with you over petty issues, those are not the main issues bothering him. 1. He Wants to Be Liked by Everyone. Worst part he's aware of this trait and sees no reason why he should change. So, I came about to be a relationship advice writer! Try to remain calm and assertive. It feels as though the whole world is reinforcing the idea that well-established, charismatic men cannot possibly be held . Some men unknowingly are narcissistic in nature, they have this superior mentality that makes them feel they are better than everyone else. Some religions and cultures do not think very highly of women; in fact, they believe women, should be relegated to the background and should not be seen or heard. Youll see if hes messaging another woman, how often, what apps hes using etc. Revise the reasons I highlighted above and then draw your conclusions. On the back of trying to make you feel jealous or flirting with other women, your husband might not be as invested in your relationship as you are or think he is. Related Here is what to do if your husband never tells you how beautiful you are. 10. by Carolyn Steber. Figure out where your needs aren't being met. So they literally arent able to love you and be angry in the same moment. Get him to love talking to you if you are uncomfortable with him talking to others. Once youve made it clear how his behavior makes you feel, if he doesnt start to change his ways and show you more appreciation and prioritize making you feel special, the problem is a lot deeper. The most obvious reason narcissists are cruel to you is their lack of empathy. However, you need to know that his actions are carefully thought out to make things go that way. Signs that "nice guy" is actually a total creeper. He will know . Mate, when would be a good time to . The question of the day is: have you ever experienced a narcissist who treated you badly but was kind to strangers? The tool will return a plethora of information including his recent online behavior, such as any dating sites he might have registered to and social media he has used. If youre worried that hes doing this because hes up to dodgy things behind your back, Id recommend downloading this online communications tracker tool. downright abusive in the way that they speak to you, Why Narcissists Are So Cruel to You But So Kind to Others. Completely different story. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Dear Annie: I have been married for almost 20 years. One of the main signs of a disrespectful husband is when he never ever asks your opinion on anything. Some of this matters a lot in marriages and you need to, put in extra effort in maintaining it. We barely talk. My Husband is a Disappointing Father (11 Bad Dad Behaviors and How to Counter Them), Reasons Why He's Nice To Everyone Except You, Why Is Your Husband Mean? In case you notice that your marriage seems to head for divorce, you may start wondering how you can influence your husband to fall back in love and save your relationship.There are times when addressing this issue is not as straightforward as you may expect. In fact, I threw his number in the trash. Is there a reason for this or a bad sign for our marriage? I want him to look at me and say: because of you I didn't give up.". It really makes me wonder if she ever loved me in the first place. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. They see you regularly and they know that youve seen behind the mask, so they cant fool you anymore. But we are seriously struggling financially so I feel like he's putting so much energy into others and forgetting that he and I aren't just existing without effort. Instead of discussing it with you, he chooses to play mind games, and treat you unfairly. They manage a hostile internal voice so it is hard to pay attention to anything else.Many can be clever, judging or sizing up a person or a social situation. The Water Torturer stays evenly calm in arguments and has a quiet derision (insulting or mocking) and meanness. Any criticism towards his family wounds him deeply. Press J to jump to the feed. minsu i have loved you for so long and i" It is also possible that there may not be anyone else. You might think she's overreacting at being passed over for a job and she might think you're crazy for over-analyzing that awkward moment at a . To massage their fragile ego, they lash out at their wives. Even if the problems aren't marriage-related, a toxic spouse will expect you to solve them. What this means is that he is not a narcissist, rather he is just dealing with bouts of anger stored up within him. If you love what you have just read, kindly drop your comment, hit the like button and share with your friends and family. Women tend to get carried away with raising the kids, work, and keeping the family that they neglect their husbands. Why Is My Husband Mean To Me And Nice To Everyone Else? I couldnt quite understand what was going on but when I later realized that he seemed to be a toxic narcissist, I finally figured out why he was so cruel to me and so kind to others. Sometimes when things get out of hand, your husband can say things that wounds your soul, even shake you at the core. So when they are behind closed doors with a pre-conditioned supply, their true selves can come out and play. He doesn't miss you when you're gone, and he's indifferent to your absence. Or at least to ignore my own needs. The counselor was always so impressed with him that nothing ever got done. Feeling distanced from your partner. If he accepted he contributed to the problem, but added that he wouldnt have done what he did if not for the fact that his ex-partner encouraged it; this is another sign that hes most likely an abuser. 4. Outsiders don't have a glimpse at the abusers have a clever way of concealing what could lead on anyone to know their true color. But by the end of our lunch (where he was our server), hed asked me for my number. This might be your friends, family, or therapist, for example. Share this post with someone who needs it! This is one of the most common issues our female readers face. Then let it go. 6. Here are 6 signs I missed while he was cheating: 1. Hard. Some men may seem so strong on the outside but deep down they are really weak. Its also possible you caught a whiff of this attitude, but chose to ignore it because people change. Remember that you are as important as everyone else and remember to take care of your own needs. This is something that your husband MUST change or the relationship is over. or even where to eat dinner. It is plain and simple, really. Thanks for the advice. No one should attempt to have a conversation when either person is rushing to get somewhere or just coming home exhausted from the day. Vent your frustrations using the sandwich method. Here is what to do if your husband never tells you how beautiful you are, How Often Should a Roommate Have a Guest Over? A A. at every given opportunity hence causing him to be contemptible to you. She told me shed run into him and hed begged her to call me. (11 Signs of a Pity Date), Do Men Get Emotionally Attached After Having Sex? Occasionally when controversies occur between you and him, you will start feeling you are the one hurting him, and strangely you will not be so sure of how exactly you have been achieving this. See video here. 1. Subscribe and get a special email series from Angie packed with free gifts to help you heal and evolve! I'm not exactly going around acting like a therapist to my friends and colleagues, but I am a good listener. He wasnt my type, but he was charming and seemed like a nice guy. Your heart is rendered and torn apart. Pay attention to his needs and wants so that he doesnt feel left out. So, this explains another reason that narcissists are so cruel to you and so kind to everyone else: because they are or could be in the idealization phase with anyone they dont know very well. Lastly, if you're worried about how you'll cope financially if/when you leave, it might be helpful to visit your local CAB or call the helpline to find out what benefits and other support you'll be entitled to. It might not necessarily mean hes going to act on it or that hes cheating, but it is something you need to talk to him about. Sensitive. First talk about something you love about him, then vent for a bit and then another think you love about him. Your husband might be in the category of abusers called the victim. Thanks for the suggestion. You had the self awareness to improve. Don't spell it out like that initially, but this is how you should be thinking about it. But I understand his family system: it's a codependent and enmeshed family. Still, I thought I loved him and we snuck around and got married two months after the move. He might be complimenting other women as a way of making himself feel better and giving you subtle signs that hes willing to compliment other people and not you. Husband turned down a shift at work (when both of us are pretty much completely out of work) so someone he thought needed it more could take it. Roommate Doesnt Want My Boyfriend Coming Over? He often might be doing this for the following reasons: The fact is features described of a Victim abusive husband here are merely common ways in which these abusers carry out their plans; however, it doesnt mean when your husband exhibits any or all of these characteristics automatically makes him an abuser. The truth is: a relationship is not meant to be dominated by one partner alone; you both are supposed to respect each others idea and to not take suggestions or complaints of each other with the perfunctory and prejudicial mind. In fact, he couldnt get enough of you. You start by taking care of yourself and setting strong boundaries. There could be a more light-hearted reason for your husbands behavior and thats because he just wants to be (more) popular. Our loving, open, and warm goodness. Some men may seem so strong on the outside but deep down they are really weak. Conflict resolution. If not, there are two main two blocks to empathy. Asking my husband to be nicer to me must've been some pathetic attempt to plaster over a much bigger crack than I could bear to see at that moment.